


Shit, I Think My Son's A Sex Symbol

by Hollow_Whisperings



Series: The fem!Bruce Verse [4]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Eyeliner, Gen, Multi, Protective Bruce Wayne, The Flying Graysons, batfamily, body glitter, bruce is freaking out because teenagers, dick likes dick, teenage!Dick Grayson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5452277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollow_Whisperings/pseuds/Hollow_Whisperings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Bruce really did not need to know that her teenage ward owned tight leather pants and wishes brain bleach were a thing.</p><p>Or the fic where it's a mother pulling the "YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT DRESSED LIKE THAT!" card for once. On her teenage son, no less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shit, I Think My Son's A Sex Symbol

**Author's Note:**

> There is a brief point where Dick thinks Bruce is being homophobic but fear not Bruce is only freaking out because Dick is being a teenager.

"Dick."

The boy ignored Bruce and continued to shimmy and sing along to his blaring radio.

"Dick."

Bruce felt her eye twitch. She knew that Dick knew she was there. Dick knew that Bruce knew that he knew that she was there. Bruce felt another twitch coming on.

_"Richard. John. Grayson."_

"B-Man!" Bruce twitched. "What brings you up here? Come to tell me I'll turn into a pumpkin if I'm not home by midnight?" Dick said the last with a smirk and a wiggle. Why was her s- her _ward_ wiggling?

"What are you wearing."

"Ooh, you're right - it might get chilly later! I should grab a jacket!"

_"Shouldn't you put on a shirt first?"_

"I am wearing a shirt! See?"

Dick gestured at the fabric that was very much not covering what parts of a body a shirt would. For one thing, it didn't even attempt to cover the teen's belly button.

"That is _not_ a shirt."

"Yeah, it's a _holy_ shirt. Heh. _Holey_."

_"It's see-through. And it doesn't even reach past your-!"_

Dick huffed, rolled his eyes and skipped to the doorway where his foster-mother appeared to be in need of a shock blanket.

"What's the real problem here, B?"

"...are you wearing _eyeliner_?"

"What? Oh! Jeeze, don't worry it's not _yours_! Mămică told me enough horror stories about riding elephants with pink eye for me to know better! I got the liner last time I was out with Wally. The nail polish _is_ yours though. Sorry?"

Bruce noted she was feeling rather light-headed. She also appeared to be shaking slightly.

"You're wearing leather pants. Are they even pants? How are you breathing in- Oh god."

"Bruce. Hey! Hey, it's okay! I'm not twelve anymore, y'know? I've been wearing face-paints and spandex since before I knew you! I'll admit that even in the circus I'd never had much reason to wear net-shirts - that had been the lion tamer's shtick - but, well, _you_ know what parties at the Queen Mansion are like. I wanted to look my best! And these pants just happen to really show off certain _assets_ of mine. Heh. Get it? And Kori said that the last time I wore these Roy really seemed to appreci- uh."

Bruce found herself somehow calmed as Dick abruptly stopped talking, paled and began opening and closing his mouth frantically trying to think of a way to take his foot out of his mouth.

"You being a raging bisexual isn't what I'm panicking about, Dick."

The boy took a moment to exhale in relief before motioning for Bruce to sit with him on his bed. Superman bedsheets, Bruce noted. Traitor. See if she bought him icecream post-patrol again.

"Good. I'm not ashamed of wearing makeup and tight clothes and liking kissing boys as much as I like kissing girls and- and I would be upset. If you were. Ashamed of me, I mean. Not if you were wearing tight clothes and kissing- oh gross, mental images!"

And there he was again, Bruce's Boy Wonder. Startling laughter out of her even in her scariest moments. Bruce supposed she could grow to get used to seeing her s- _ward_ prance about half-naked. It made him happy. Even if seeing it made her feel like screaming incoherently and hide him under her cape because strangers were _looking_ at her little boy in _that_ way. Dick could protect himself from unwanted attention. He certainly did well enough protecting others when they received it.

"You'll be... careful?"

"What? I run around on rooftops getting shot at every night! You think I'm going to get myself beaten up at a p-"

"I meant- I meant, uh... you'll be _careful_ , right?"

"Oh. Oh! You just mean... you mean like condoms and stuff? Yeah, I'll be careful, B. Alfred already gave me the big talk - don't worry he gave me another one after Roy came over that one time - so I know all about the birds and the bees and the S-T-Dees. You've got nothing to worry about! Besides, it's not like I haven't used them enough to know what I'm doing by- shit."

"What."

"OH LOOK, IT'S KORI! I REALLY SHOULDN'T KEEP HER WAITING, GOTTA GO! LOVE YOU! BYE, MOM!"

And with that the last Flying Grayson tumbled out his bedroom window: half-naked, covered in body glitter and apparently read to party. She really didn't want to think about what that partying might involve. Distantly, Bruce could hear young voices shrieking (most with laughter but one - Dick - was just shrieking) and an engine revving. She hoped that it wasn't Wally driving this time.

Bruce supposed she could live with knowing her teenage son had a sex-life. He was happy and healthy and knew what he was doing and... she trusted him. Oliver's sidekick and Dick's on-again-off-again alien girlfriend on the other hand, _well_.

Dick knew what he was doing, Bruce told herself. Even if he _had_ left his jacket behind. She sighed suddenly feeling very, very tried. 

"...he called me _mom_."


End file.
